Posted by Dean Aaron on August 07, 2012 View Comments
Man, oh man am I starving hungry, but my ass is getting fat so I skipped breakfast, and lunch today. I wonder what this girl enjoys eating? I bet she's a fucking carnivore who just tears into cheeseburgers, and meat lovers pizza slices dripping with gooey, greasy, cheesy, goodness, and then goes into the bathroom, and just pukes her brains out, then sobs a little until her mascara pours down her perfectly proportioned cheek bones, just to get into her 1970's Jaguar E-Type, race to the gym to work off the immense amount of guilt building inside on the verge of exploding into a total hissy fit. Fuck I wish I was as disciplined as her! If only I had a eating disorder, and experienced an insurmountable amount of anxiety every time I stuffed my greedy little mouth hole full of pizza bagel bites. I dunno though..... I could lose all this weight, miss out on so many tasty meals, always be grumpy, because I solely survive on salads with fat free balsamic dressing, and then find out that this chick is TOTALLY INTO FAT DUDES! Anyways I'm off to the grocery store to buy something out of this world delicious/healthy/fat free........ hopefully.